Queen Hatshepsut of Ancient Egypt. She has a lovely smile for someone who’s been dead for thousands of years.
she wasn’t a queen. she was a pharaoh and wanted to be referred to as such. she even had her statues modeled after the male pharaoh’s statues to state her dominance and authority. she was actually one of the most successful pharaohs in all of ancient egyptian history and she reigned longer than any other woman in power in egypt.
No wonder she’s smiling. She’s a pharaoh. Not a queen.
Let me tell y’all about this chick Hatshepsut. She’s fucking awesome, you know why? Her father Thutmose I was a crazy motherfucker. when Thutmose became pharaoh, Nubia rebelled against Egyptian rule. what did this crazy motherfucker do? He traveled up the NIle and fought in the battle, personally killing the Nubian king. why is that crazy you say? Well after the fucking won, he mounted the Nubian kings body TO THE FUCKING PROW OF THE SHIP BEFORE HE SAILED BACK TO HIS PALACE. whoa, whoa, that’s one crazy mother fucker you might say. I wonder how much crazy he passed on to Hatshepsut, you might ask. WELL LET ME TELL YOU. This lady, though a peaceful one, was crazy in love with architecture. She had HUNDREDS of construction projects through the upper AND lower Egypt (who the fuck has time for that many? This lady right here.) So much fucking statuary was made that basically ALL MAJOR MUSEUMS IN THE WORLD HAS HATSHEPSUTS STATUARY IN THEIR COLLECTIONS. (Holy shit right?) We’re just getting fucking started. Following the traditions of the other pharaohs, she had a shit load of monuments built for herself at the Temple of Karnek, along with restoring the original Precint of Mut, the ancient great goddess of Egypt, at karnek, AND BUILT TWIN OBELISKS AT THE ENTRANCE THAT WERE THE TALLEST FUCKING OBELISKS IN THE WORLD AT THE TIME. HOW THE FUCK DO EVEN DO THAT (You need a ladder, buddy?)
But her fucking masterpiece (as most pharaohs were) was her damned mortuary temple. She fucking built that bitch near the entrance of the Valley of the Kings. What’s cool about this fucking building is that she fucking layered and terraced that bitch. And what good is a place of burial without….THAT’S RIGHT. FUCKING COLUMNS. COLUMNS LIKE YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE. YOU CAN’T EVEN HOLD ALL THESE FUCKING COLUMNS.
SO ALONG WITH THIS BEING A FEMALE PHARAOH, SHE WAS PHARAOH FOR 22 FUCKING YEARS. HOLY SHIT. SHE LIVED TILL SHE WAS IN HER FIFTIES. THAT’S RIGHT KIDDOS. THIS BADASS WOMAN LIVED TO HER FIFTIES IN THAT TIME PERIOD. THAT’S JUST FUCKING UNHEARD OF. IF THIS IS ACTUALLY HER MUMMY, THEN THIS BADASS GRANNY PROBABLY DIED OF DIABETES, AND BONE CANCER THAT SPREAD THROUGHOUT HER BODY. TRY EXPLAINING THAT TO AN ANCIENT DOCTOR. (i wish you luck!)
I HOPE YOU FUCKING LEARNED SOMETHING BECAUSE SHE IS A FUCKING AWESOME BADASS OF ALL BAD ASSES.